Confession: I am irritable this week.
Summer tends to be a tough time in our household. Some people suffer from seasonal affective disorder in the winter, but my Thing 1 gets hot-tempered in summer. He is up, he is down, he can be destructive. In the last two weeks, he ripped apart two books and shattered a glass candle container. Combine that with Thing 2’s sheer loudness at all times, and I’m about to lose my mind. I snapped at the grocery store cashier yesterday. I rolled my eyes and completely disregarded pick-up procedures at Thing 2’s school. I’ve been overly snarky with my husband.
Last week I also attended a meeting with my son’s teacher, principal, and occupational therapist. At his spring IEP meeting, I asked for a full OT evaluation. That evaluation was complete, so it was time for our meeting and amendment. Sitting across from the principal, though… Oy. I do not like that woman. She followed me outside in an attempt to shake a name out of me. Who told me Thing 1’s self-contained autism class spent days watching Disney movies? The subject came up in the spring, and this woman is hell-bent on getting a name from me.
I ain’t no snitch.
I came across this prayer today, and it spoke to my feelings over the past couple weeks. Both Hands and a Flashlight is written by an autism dad, and his was the first blog I started following after Thing 1 was diagnosed. Whether you’re on the special needs path or not, I think it speaks to all parents doing their best and fighting the good fight.
You who watch over the lilies of the field,
Help us just to not suck today.
Help us to put our clothes on right,
Or to at least meet the minimums of decency.
Help us to put toothpaste on our brushes instead of diaper cream,
And to not look too much like a raving lunatic in public.
Or at least grant us shelter us from arrest.
Help us when we yell at someone in a store
that we might not hurt our voices.
Guide our feet as we kick ass,
And lead us not into more expletives than are necessary,
But make them the right ones,
In thy mercy.
For those who do not believe in our kids,
For those who judge our parenting and our kids’ behavior,
For those too quick to speak and too slow to listen,
For those whose hearts have hardened,
For those who cannot fathom how to pay their bills,
For those who hold their heads in despair,
For those who don’t know if it will ever get better,
For those getting up off the ground to fight once more,
For those who refuse to give up,
For those who choose love over fear,
And may our coffee pots brew well and our grounds be plentiful.