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Yep, We Ditched Halloween

Hopefully I’ll get around to creating original content for this blog again…but right now work, kids, and the Richmond Moms Blog is keeping my plate full enough.

I wrote about how my kids are unimpressed by the usual holiday traditions, especially Halloween, here. This month, Thing 1 has recited Super Why’s “The Ghost Who Was Afraid of Halloween” on repeat. I assume that’s how he feels about October 31st with it’s eerie sounds, kids in masks, and sensory overload. That inspired my latest post for the Richmond Moms Blog about why we don’t celebrate Halloween. It has nothing to do with Christian ethics, but rather respecting our kids’ limits and interests. Read all about it here.

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Surviving Parent-Teacher Conferences

The time has come…

We are less than a month away from Parent-Teacher Conference Day, and I’m not a fan. Conferencing with parents any other day is usually fine, but Conference Day is exhausting. It’s an under-caffeinated marathon of jilted ex-spouses, helicopter and bulldozer moms, and parents who want their every action validated. It’s speed dating without the benefit of alcohol. In an attempt to make Conference Day more productive, I put together three tips to make those meetings a success. Read about it here on the Richmond Moms Blog.

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Pink Pancakes!

valentines_headerHolidays make me feel young at heart. Cheeky cards, garland, lights, and decorations make me giddy. It’s probably all Pinterest’s and Target’s fault. But as much as I love making every holiday special for my kids (whether they want me to or not), Valentine’s Day sends me over the freaking edge. Yes, my boys love chocolate and candy and parties, but the pomp and circumstance of card exchanges and all-things-heart-shaped are lost of them. So I sat at the dining room table several nights in a row decorating shoe boxes and bags, addressing cards, and preparing gifts for teachers, aides, therapists, and bus drivers (so I don’t look like the only deadbeat parent in a sea of hyper PTA moms). Let me just add that general education class, autism classmates, speech therapists, occupational therapists, instructional aides… We went through a ton of valentines.

Okay, enough complaining.

First challenge this year was finding valentine cards my boys actually liked. They may be 9- and 7-years old, but developmentally they enjoy the same characters as their 2-year-old brother. They would be completely happy with Elmo or Thomas, but I feared passing those out in an elementary school classroom would be social suicide. It is hard to find unique valentines at the usual box stores, and I didn’t want to spend a fortune. Thank goodness for Etsy! Thing 2 loves Pete the Cat books, and I downloaded these valentine cards for him. Thing 1 agreed to these Star Wars cards. I was able to personalize both at no extra charge, then printed them on cardstock at Office Max.

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My idea for pink pancakes for tonight’s dinner came from Jessica Seinfeld’s Deceptively Delicious cookbook. She has some inspiring (and insanely complicated) ideas for sneaking vegetables into foods kids typically love, and I usually keep roasted butternut squash or carrot purees in the freezer to toss into pasta sauces and pancakes. While Seinfeld’s original recipe uses beet puree and ricotta combined with store-bought pancake mix, I used my standard oatmeal pancake recipe and added beet to it. Roasting beets is super simple… Just trim the leaves and scrub the beets clean, wrap in aluminum foil, and roast at 375 for approximately 45 minutes. Let them cool enough to handle, trim and peel, and then you can slice, dice, or puree. For creating the puree, add 1/2 to 1 cup water to create a smooth consistency. For easy use, I freeze small portions in an ice cube tray, then thaw (more like microwave) what I want to use.

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Pink Oatmeal Pancakes

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup unsweetened almond or cashew milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1 pinch sea salt
  • 2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
  • 1/4 cup beet puree
  • butter, coconut oil, or cooking spray for the griddle

Combine all ingredients (except butter) in a blender and blend until smooth. Heat up your griddle and melt butter or oil of choice. Ladle approximately 1/4 cup batter onto that sizzling hot griddle, and cook for 2-3 minutes per side. Top with maple syrup, powdered sugar, fresh fruit, whipped cream, or all of the above.

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Okay, okay…I used my heart cookie cutter. I was only entertaining myself at this point. We also ate turkey bacon and grapes because there’s nothing more fabulous to my children than breakfast for dinner, especially when it comes with a side of powdered sugar.

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Censorship and Other Bad Words

I recently read an article from Lehigh University’s First Amendment Site regarding book censorship. Written in 2009 by a journalism student, the article chronicles a brief history of censorship and book banning. One quote struck me: “The most effective antidote to the poison of mindless orthodoxy is ready access to a broad sweep of ideas and philosophies. There is no danger from such exposure. The danger is mind control.” That was the 1978 decision of Judge Joseph L. Tauro of Massachusetts in Right to Read Defense Committee v. School Committee of the City of Chelsea.

Thinking about a few amazing works of literature that have been banned over the centuries, including To Kill a Mockingbird (racism), Call of the Wild (banned and burned in Nazi Germany), Ulysses (obscenity), Of Mice and Men (profanity), Fahrenheit 451 (uses God’s name in vain), The Giver (drugs and suicide), The Color Purple (people have sex), and even Dahl’s The Witches (move over J.K. Rowling because Roald Dahl was inspiring wizardry first)…parents, legislators, and school board committee members love to stoke the literacy funeral pyres when students read anything besides censored textbooks or that one book that begins with the line, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

Why is this relevant now? In my county in Virginia, where I live and teach, there is a mother who homeschooled her child. Then she sent that precious snowflake to public school and became very concerned over the county’s suggested summer reading lists for secondary students. Last month, that mother took her complaints to our county’s weekly newspaper, who published her story. In that article, this mother threw words around like “pornographic,” “vile,” and “trash” to describe the books Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell and Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys. Yet has this mother ever read the books herself? No. What concerned me most was her bragging that four titles on the 2015 summer reading list for one county high school were removed after she contacted the school’s administration. Why administrators cave to the whims, rants, and aggressive nature of bulldozer parents is beyond me…it not only undermines teachers, but also feeds into the mind control that Judge Tauro warned against. By allowing one parent to dictate the summer reading list for an entire school of 1500 students, she came back for round two this summer with an even bigger chip on her shoulder. In the case of fundamentalist mother versus administrators without backbone, mother wins.

As if the original story wasn’t infuriating enough, the following week The Chesterfield Observer published a follow-up article that included an interview with our State Senator, Amanda Chase. In the interest of full disclosure, I do not care for Mrs. Chase, nor did I vote for her. I consider myself politically moderate (despite the fact I’m wearing my “Feelin’ the Bern” t-shirt as I write this), but I am wary of politicians aligned with the inflammatory and fear-mongering tea party. Mrs. Chase defeated our previous out-of-touch senator in the primary and there was barely a contest in the Republican stronghold of District 11 in the general election. She won with 64% of the vote. Our Virginia General Assembly notoriously passes what I call “Do-Gooder” laws, and Amanda Chase is one of those do-gooders. A family friend described the problems of our General Assembly this way: there are too many do-gooders and not enough lawyers. However, I am grateful that our Democratic governor, Terry McAuliffe, vetoed two bills in particular while in office so far–one requiring public schools to notify parents before using sexually explicit books in school, and he twice vetoed a “Tebow Bill” that would open public school sports to homeschooled children. So that tangent aside, in the June 29th article, Mrs. Chase calls for firing certain librarians, stating, “If librarians are not recommending books that line up with Chesterfield County Public Schools’ core values, they should be dismissed.” When the Observer presented the idea that parents should help their children pick out books, Chase says parents are too busy.

What. The. [Censored].

Dear fellow parents and Mrs. Chase… I do not claim to be a perfect parent, or even a patient one. I swear in front of my children, and the f-word flows pretty freely in these parts. I listen to SiriusXM’s Backspin in my minivan while shuttling my children around town. I know you mean well, I really do. “Save the children!” It’s a noble thought, but my children and many like them do not need saving. Granted, my kids are young and autism keeps them blissfully innocent and unaware of many of life’s harsh realities, but they know there is profanity and obscenity in this world. Nonetheless, my kids mind their manners, follow directions, and do not hit, bite, or swear. And here is an outrageous idea…I am not too busy to be a parent. I know what they watch on YouTube, I know what book characters they like, and I take time to help them choose books and activities. I even talk to their teachers about their interests and ask for suggestions for books and games. If and when the time comes that I am not comfortable with them reading, hearing, or viewing something, then I will make that call. Please, please stop telling us how to parent. Any middle- or high-school kid wanting to read Eleanor and Park will find that book tamer than what she hears in your average school hallway, bus, or locker room. Bad habits are not curated at the public library. Instead of sheltering kids from controversial things and hiding from reality, we need to teach them how to cope with adversity, make good choices, consider other viewpoints and experiences, and learn from good and bad consequences. If my senator Amanda Chase wants to protect my kids in a meaningful way, she can introduce a bill that will erase the age cap from the autism insurance mandate rather than call for the dismissal of public school librarians who foster curiosity, imagination, and creativity in young adults. To these micromanaging legislators and the parents who seek to impose their will on all of us, don’t you have anything better to do? Maybe you should read a book.

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(Image source: http://quoteaddicts.com)

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Life Lately

After an insanely busy winter, I am back on the blog wagon… I suppose it’s time for a catch up.

Thing 2 continued his journey down the neurology rabbit hole. Last fall, we sought a second opinion on suspected absence seizures, and proceeded with an EEG, head MRI (revealing a Chiari malformation restricting the flow of cerebral spinal fluid), then a follow-up MRI on his spine to evaluate for any tears or syrinx. The spinal MRI was clear, and the neurosurgeon suggested repeating the scans yearly. Our coinsurance for the spinal MRI was $2,200, so I doubt yearly repeats are financially feasible, unless by some miracle Thing 2 qualifies for Medicaid. So far our county Department of Social Services has refused to screen Thing 2 for waiver services. Outright refused, which I am pretty sure is illegal. Typical Virginia. Meanwhile, Thing 2 has been pushing on his cheeks and acting like his face is in pain. Our pediatrician noticed his 6-year molars (the first permanent molars we get) were erupting. We gave him Advil, and that seemed to help. At the dentist last week, Thing 2 was amazingly cooperative, and it must have been divine intervention. Our dentist found an abscess in a baby molar, which must be horribly painful. That is why he’s pushing on his cheek, and that tooth will be pulled next week. This is the point I find myself frustrated and furious with autism and the lack of communication that goes with it. Thing 2 was unable to tell us he was in pain, and that is not acceptable. And unfair. Hopefully his mood will improve once that tooth is pulled, because no one in this family is allowed to take a knee! This month Thing 2 also returns to the neurologist and gets registered for Kindergarten.

Thing 1, on the other hand, is doing incredibly well–in school and ABA sessions. Thing 1 is in second grade, and by Christmas mastered Kindergarten and first grade sight words. His behavior therapist is working on generalizing that skill, meaning recognizing and reading those sight words in formats other than a flashcard. I left my school laptop at home one morning and came home during my planning block to pick it up. I walked in on an ABA session, and Thing 1 was reading. READING. I didn’t want to leave. Besides going into a general education second grade classroom for literacy circles, starting in January he was included in general education math, too. I love it when the stars finally align and Thing 1 makes such huge strides… Sometimes it is difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but hard work always pays off. Thing 1 has been working his butt off.

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Thing 3 is mere days away from his second birthday. He was completely delightful and easygoing until he hit 18 months. That’s when he decided to jump start the Terrible Two’s. The kid is so stubborn! He wants to do everything himself, his way, on his own time. He is also not saying a single word, and every time he stands on his toes or walks in some repetitive pattern around the room, I feel a lump my stomach. I had to make the call yet again and ask for an autism evaluation, which will be another two months away. On that note, I am donating our brains to science. We have not seen a geneticist since Thing 1 was diagnosed in 2010, but there must be something behind the way our genes are mixing and mingling to produce potentially three kids on the spectrum. Hopefully by joining the Autism BrainNet, our noggins can help solve the mystery for other families. Besides, it’s not like any of us will need our brains when we’re six feet under.

I’m almost halfway done with the national board certification process. I submitted Component 2–a portfolio showcasing how I teach writing and differentiate instruction. I had to analyze three writing assignments for that component, and it made me grateful to not be a Language Arts teacher. Oy…the writing! I take a test (multiple-choice and short answer) in June, and then I’ll pick up the process again this fall with two more components to submit. I’m also ready to kick this group of seventh graders to the curb. Despite the lethal mix of laziness, immaturity, and psycho parents this year, I still love my job most days…until Pi Day comes around, and I take one in the face.

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It’s all for a good cause.

The house is in shambles since my husband demolished our master bathroom. It will look amazing when finished, but in the meantime, there’s a bathtub and two toilets hanging out in the garage, sawdust scattered, and a shop-vac by my bedside.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, right?