A Call to Action!

January 18, 2017 | Kate

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UPDATE 1/20/17… Thank you so much for sharing this post and joining the movement to #CrushTheCap in Virginia. There were very disappointing developments, and here is the latest message from Virginia Autism Project: “The Autism Insurance Initiative (HB1995), sponsored by Delegate Greason, has run into insurmountable opposition in the 2017 House of Delegates. This upsetting situation presents us with no viable solution to keep our bill alive in this session. We are extremely disappointed and sad for the many Virginia families who have a loved one on the autism spectrum and who struggle to get their children medically prescribed services they so desperately need. Those of us that have worked on this issue for many years are not surprised that it will take multiple attempts to pass our bill lifting the age cap. The Virginia Autism Project leadership remains committed to ending this injustice. Providing insurance coverage for our children who have a diagnosis of Autism from 2-10 years of age and excluding all others is unacceptable. Virginia families deserve better. Please consider this a YEAR-LONG CALL TO ACTION. VAP, along with our friends at Autism Speaks, will continue to reach out to educate and lobby those we elect and send to Richmond in an effort to ensure all families’ voices are heard. Please send an email or letter to your Virginia Senator and Delegate and tell them that HB1995 was obstructed this year, but YOU EXPECT THEIR SUPPORT IN 2018 TO END THIS DISCRIMINATION. Also, please send a note of thanks to Delegate Greason (DelTGreason@house.virginia.gov) for his unwavering support.”

House Bill No. 1995 was introduced in Virginia’s General Assembly this month to lift the age cap on mandated insurance coverage for autism spectrum disorder. Coverage in our state is currently capped at age 10. Two years ago, a nearly identical bill was introduced and struggled to survive the House and Senate Commerce & Labor Committees. When the session ended, the age limit was raised from 6 to 10…baby steps, but an improvement nonetheless. We all know autism does not magically disappear when a child reaches his 11th birthday. All individuals impacted by autism deserve the services prescribed by medical professionals, regardless of age, including assessments and behavioral, speech, and occupational therapy. These therapies (especially ABA) are life-changing for my family. We went from asking ourselves, “What if he never talks?” to hearing Thing 1 sing songs, read books, and ask for help when needed. Why? Because of intensive ABA. Thing 2 started Kindergarten at our home elementary school and is completing work on grade level. Why? Because of intensive ABA. We are excited to enroll Thing 3 in the same early education autism program this summer knowing this evidence-based treatment will make a meaningful difference in learning language, social skills, emotional well-being, and the ability to generalize those skills across different settings.

So why should YOU support HB1995?

According to VCU’s Autism Center for Excellence, the average age of autism diagnosis in Virginia is between six and seven years of age, and the GW Autism Institute‘s findings indicate that adolescence is a time of tremendous brain reorganization and plasticity. Adolescents and young adults greatly benefit from treatment, and there are opportunities to better the lives of individuals at ALL life stages. Those opportunities should not be denied because our great Commonwealth has stamped an expiration date on our children!

Covering evidence-based therapy is also fiscally responsible. The Virginia State Corporation Commission reports annually to the General Assembly regarding the financial impact of mandated health insurance benefits.

The 2014 average claim cost per member related to mandated coverage of ASD is $2.66 per year (22 cents per month).
The 2015 average claim cost per member related to mandated coverage of ASD is $3.50 per year (29 cents per month).

Actual claims experience from states that have at least three years of autism insurance coverage or no age restrictions indicate an average premium impact of less than 50 cents per member per month — about the cost of a postage stamp! Yet cost-benefit analysis shows that if children with autism receive intensive services at a young age, the overall savings are significant. The provision of intensive services (like ABA) can result in an estimated cost savings ranging from $187,000 to $203,000 per child ages 3-22 years, and a total lifetime savings of $1-2 million dollars.

Would you be willing to pay the price of a postage stamp to save $2,000,000? To make a positive impact the lives of children and adolescents with autism? If you live in Virginia, it is imperative that you contact your state legislators to support meaningful autism insurance reform. To find contact information for your state delegate and senator, click here. Also call, e-mail, or visit members of the House Commerce & Labor Subcommittee #1 and urge them to vote YES on HB1995. Feel free to join me and Thing 1 at the General Assembly on January 31 for Developmental Disability Advocacy Day.

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Be loud. Be heard. Be the change!

Ode to the Instant Pot

November 29, 2016 | Kate

This post contains affiliate links.

This machine is incredible…life changing…inspiring…time saving…and overall the best kitchen appliance ever purchased. I put it through a major workout over Thanksgiving break making gallons of bone broth (recipe below) and prepped 20 freezer meals that can be cooked in 20-30 minutes from freezer to table. I basically cooked dinner for the rest of the year.

Even better, it’s a crazy good deal right now.

Before hearing about the Instant Pot, I did not even know how a pressure cooker worked. A slow cooker cooks food with heat over a long period of time, but in a pressure cooker, food and liquid are sealed and come to a boil. As steam/pressure builds, food cooks faster. The Instant Pot is an easy-to-use multi-functional cooker that works as a pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, yogurt maker, steamer, warmer, and saute pan. There are preset programs for cooking soups, meat/stew, rice, beans/chili, porridge, poultry, multigrains, steaming, and slow cooking, as well as dual pressure settings. It is made of a 3-ply stainless steel cooking pot and comes with a steam rack, measuring cup, and serving utensils. Because I never used a pressure cooker before this one, it took some time getting used to the process. I looked to Pinterest for inspiration, converted my slow cooker favorites, and tested a few recipes from The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook. When I cooked perfect, easy-to-peel hard boiled eggs and in seven minutes, my mind was blown. Know what else took seven minutes? An entire spaghetti squash. Seriously. The Instant Pot was also great for cooking dinner on those hot summer days when I didn’t want to turn on the oven or stand over the grill. After spending a month with my Instant Pot, I sold my Crock-Pot.

Now we are heading into winter, and my Instant Pot made an amazing batch of bone broth. I bought a bag of beef marrow bones at Whole Foods for our dog shortly before she passed away, and that bag has been in the freezer since July. I threw those on a sheet pan and roasted the bones for 45 minutes at 375 degrees. This is optional, but roasting bones first helps create a broth with richer flavor.

Bone Broth:

Ingredients:

1 onion, quartered
2/3 cup chopped carrots
2 celery stalks, chopped
1 head of garlic, halved
bones (marrow bones, soup bones, chicken/turkey carcass, whatever)
2 tbs. apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
water

Place vegetables and garlic in the Instant Pot first, then add the bones. Drizzle apple cider vinegar over the bones and let sit for 20-30 minutes; the acid helps extract minerals from the bones. Then fill the pot with enough water to cover the bones, but do not exceed the max fill line. Cover and seal the Instant Pot, select the “Soup” setting, and set the time at 120 minutes. After pressure cooking is done, turn off the Instant Pot and let it naturally release for 15 minutes before venting. Strain the broth and you’re done…maybe.

Instead of bagging and tagging my broth at this point, I returned the strained broth to the Instant Pot and hit the “Saute” button. This brought the pot to a boil and I reduced the broth by approximately 1/3 to create a concentrate. Then I let the broth cool, poured into ice cube trays, and froze to create individual portions that can be reconstituted with hot water through cold and flu season.

Mic. Drop.

Bone broth contains easily absorbed minerals and amino acids, like calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, arginine, glutamine, and glycine. It supports the immune system to inhibit infections caused by cold/flu viruses and fights inflammation. The gelatin supports proper digestion. It’s the super food my husband hates…but I don’t care, he is still going to drink it and shut up about his man cold.

I followed this same process using the Thanksgiving turkey carcass to make turkey and rice soup. I picked off and chopped what meat remained on the carcass, then used the bones to make stock. Once the stock was strained, I returned it to the Instant Pot and added diced carrots, celery, onion, garlic powder, salt and pepper, two bay leaves, and the turkey meat and simmered for 30 minutes. I added one cup of rice at the end and the entire pot produced three meals worth of soup (dinner for us, dinner for my parents, one for the freezer).

So how can the Instant Pot be improved? Well, I have my eye on accessories at this point…like the Glass Lid and Yogurt Cups. I have also been reading articles about using the Instant Pot for canning, but as much as I love mason jars, that may be too ambitious for me.

Conscious Un-Halloweening

October 29, 2016 | Kate

It’s that time of year again when leaves change color, mums are abundant, and pumpkin spice rules the world. The back corner of Target was in shambles today as families bought last minute fall decorations, costumes, and extra bags of candy. As I trotted around Target waiting for a prescription refill with Thing 3, I bumped into a few people I know who all excitedly and sweetly asked the same question: “What are your kids going to be this year for Halloween?”

Ah. Nothing.

We had a blast last year when we decided to ditch the Halloween fanfare. Thing 3 stayed home with the grandparents while my husband and I took Things 1 and 2 to a college football game. They ran around campus, danced to the marching band, stuffed their faces with pizza, and skipped and smiled the whole night.

Because October 31 falls on a school night this year, we need to keep plans low-key and local; but again, there will be no itchy costumes or mandatory trick-or treating for my brood. Maybe we’ll watch a movie, or maybe we will eat dinner out and do something fun with the boys. Since I received a lot of positive feedback on the original Conscious Un-Halloweening, I wanted to give a shout out to my fellow special needs parents. We are all heading into the busiest time of year with parties, extended family visits, dinner spreads full of foods our kids won’t eat, blinking lights, and extra layers of clothing… But it is a wonderful time of year, and I hope all find ways to make the holiday blitz special.

And this is what happens when I roam Target unsupervised.

Far Beyond Zebra

How early did your son or daughter start talking about Halloween costumes this year? How many times did she change characters or ideas?

Some autistic kids are fine with this holiday, but my kids…

Well, they HATE Halloween.

My kiddos will happily support the pumpkin patch, corn mazes, orange lights, falling leaves, free candy, and spooky decorations, but they despise October 31st. Wear costumes? No, thanks. Trick-or-treating is out of the question. These are aversions that I had to pause to wrap my head around—because what kid doesn’t love dressing like a superhero and collecting free candy? I had visions of my adorable children dressing up, turning our Radio Flyer into the Batmobile, and joining a neighborhood trick-or-treating posse. Every October, I start concocting costumes for the whole family. And every Halloween, without fail, my kids have meltdowns. If Gwyneth can coin the phrase, “conscious uncoupling,” then my family is hereby consciously uncoupling with Halloween…

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Igniting the Flame

October 9, 2016 | Kate

If you follow this blog, you know I often write about life as an autism mom. This year, our youngest son was also diagnosed with autism after we noticed his regression of skills similar to our oldest child. By 12-15 months, Thing 3 was “talking” on the phone, playing imaginatively, pointing to objects, initiating games like peek-a-boo and patty-cake. All that stopped by 18 months and was replaced with toe walking, repetitive movements around the room, fixation with his hands and fingers, and silence…no sounds coming from our baby except epic meltdowns nightly at dinnertime. In July, we finally had our appointment with the Transdisciplinary Autism Assessment Clinic at Commonwealth Autism. In addition to administering the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule–an assessment of communication, social interaction, and play), the team included occupational and speech therapists’ assessments. It was a long morning of questions and observations, but we knew what the findings would be.

So here we are, raising three boys with moderate autism.

Part of me was sad. Regressive autism is crushing–to see your child struggle with actions and words that used to be easy. On the other hand, life with autism is normal to us. Around the same time Thing 3’s language and social engagement vanished, there was a workshop on regression sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health in Maryland that focused on the development of infant siblings of autistic children, but overall the National Institutes of Health grapple to understand the neurological changes, immune responses, and other physiological causes of regression. In an attempt to find answers, our family was evaluated by a genetics team at the University of Virginia. They completed a microarray analysis, which detects possible chromosomal abnormalities, and that revealed nothing out of the ordinary. The next test to be completed is called a DNA extraction using blood samples from Thing 1, me, and my husband. This testing did not exist when we took Thing 1 to a geneticist six years ago, so we are excited to see what it may reveal.

Autism research becomes a touchy subject when people argue for neurodiversity versus “curing” disorders. I accept my children for who they are and wish the world understood their struggles and respected their dignity…but I would be a liar if I didn’t say I would love to take away those struggles. In an attempt to contribute to the body of research, our family signed up for SPARK. SPARK is an online research partnership involving 50,000 individuals with autism and their families attempting to accelerate research, coordinate those findings among medical institutions, and advance the understanding of autism. Over 20 medical schools have joined SPARK, and SPARK provides those researchers with medical and genetic information from participants like us. When we signed up, we completed questionnaires about ourselves and our children, then sent SPARK our saliva samples.

Special needs parenting cannot only be about IEP battles, inspirational quotes, and memes about coffee consumption. While those are all very true, I want to know WHY my children have autism. I know about ASD and ABA, IEP’s and IDEA, BIP, plenty of SIB’s, IFSP’s, ADHD, OT, SLP, and the whole alphabet soup. But why does this condition impact all three of my children? Perhaps new research will lead to custom interventions and therapies tailored to each child. Will new research explain the systemic medical problems related to autism, like immune deficiencies, seizures, and gastrointestinal issues, and therefore lead to better treatments? There simply is not enough research or funding to answer these questions, and SPARK looks to bridge that gap.

I was shocked to hear many of my friends in the autism community never heard of SPARK. I hope you share this information with other families affected by autism and be the spark that ignites a flame in the lives of others.

Suck It Up or Suck It In

October 4, 2016 | Kate

This past spring, I was in a funk. It was frustration (seeing autism red flags in Thing 3), exhaustion (Thing 2 still not sleeping), and burn out (lethal mix of immature students and their psycho parents). When I am stressed, I do three things: eat, drink, shop. By the time July rolled around, I finally stopped eating my feelings and decided to get healthy–because I was tired of feeling lethargic, and raising three kids on the spectrum required more dedication to my own health.

Weight loss is about setting goals and maintaining control, and eating less is more important than exercising more. For me, I maintain control by streamlining and simplifying. My husband and I joined Weight Watchers in 2012 and had success with that program, so we started religiously tracking points again this summer. I returned to the habit of meal planning, creating a weekly calendar for breakfasts, snacks, lunches, and dinners and prepping those dinners in advance. Once a month I create at least 25 meals to stock our freezer. On Amazon Prime Day, I bought an Instant Pot for an amazing price so those dinners go from freezer to table in 20-30 minutes, and all I do is push a button, which keeps us from hitting a fast food drive-thru on busy weeknights. I also joined monthly accountability groups led by my high school friend (a Beachbody coach) for extra support. I check in daily and tell the group what I ate, how I exercised, and everyone shares meal planning tips and recipes. I tried Shakeology and loved it, and now those shakes are my breakfast. They are 130-160 calories depending on flavor, keep me full until lunch, and almost completely banished my sugar cravings. Only downside is they’re freaking expensive, so I had to break up with Starbucks to afford them… $4 for a latte versus $4 for my “daily dose of dense nutrition.” I’m on target some weeks more than others but lost 9.8 pounds so far, and my husband is down 13 pounds.

So what does meal planning look like? Cooking Light has a cool interactive dinner planner, and Organized Home provides tips and printables to get you started. I don’t really understand people who plan menus before shopping because I work in reverse. I buy meats on sale and plan menus from there, using Pinterest and my cookbooks for inspiration (I try one new recipe each week). We buy meats in bulk once a month, then visit the grocery store weekly for produce, milk, etc. So here are two sample days to show how I survive Weight Watchers and the new SmartPoints system…

Monday:

Breakfast: Shakeology (vanilla blended with coffee and ice — 3 SmartPoints)

Snack: Coffee with 1 tbs. creamer (1 SmartPoint), hard-boiled egg (2 SmartPoints)

Lunch: Leftover Chicken Piccata (3 SmartPoints) and 1/3 cup egg noodles (2 SmartPoints)

Snack: Banana (0 SmartPoints) and Babybel Light cheese (1 SmartPoint)

After-School Snack: Apple with PB2 (1 SmartPoint) OR Cheez-It crackers (5 SmartPoints)

Dinner: Low-carb wrap (2 SmartPoints) with romaine lettuce (0 SmartPoints) and homemade chicken salad (made with Greek yogurt instead of mayonnaise — 2 SmartPoints)

Snack: 2 cups SkinnyPop popcorn (2 SmartPoints)

Tuesday:

Breakfast: Overnight oats (1/2 cups oats, 1/2 unsweetened cashew milk, 1/4 tsp. cinnamon, 1/4 cup diced apple — 4 SmartPoints)

Snack: Coffee with 1 tbs. creamer (1 SmartPoint) and Siggi’s strawberry yogurt (3 SmartPoints)

Lunch: Leftover red beans & rice with turkey sausage (6 SmartPoints)

Snack: Apple (0 SmartPoints)

After-School Snack: Larabar mini (4 SmartPoints)

Dinner: Homemade corn and potato chowder (6 SmartPoints)

Snack: 2 cups SkinnyPop popcorn (2 SmartPoints)

That leaves me enough wiggle room within my 30 daily points to enjoy a small second helping at dinner, or a slice of banana bread left in the copy room, or that piece of chocolate my coworker brings to a meeting, or a glass of wine after dinner (4 SmartPoints for a 5 oz. pour).

For me, though, diet alone is not enough. To tone this mombod, I need to work out 3-4 times every week. I pay $10/month for a gym membership and head there on weekends for a mix of cardio and strength training. I tackle cardio first and spend 30 minutes on the rower or elliptical. Then I opt for machine weights…or if I feel ambitious, I’ll grab a kettle bell and follow this routine. During the week, I complete a couple Focus T25 workouts. Even though his oblique knee push-ups make me want to cry, I try to follow Shaun T’s advice to not over-do it and work out at least every three days.

It is hard to push play after the Spanx come off at the end of a long day, so we try to get moving as a family. We take a lot of walks after dinner–either around our neighborhood or following the trails at a county park. My kids love these hikes, especially when they include rocks, bridges, and bodies of water. We let Thing 1 and Thing 2 set the pace, and often their skipping and prancing turns into running. I’ll gladly tackle a two-mile jog if it tires them out before bedtime!

nature_walks

Thing 2–the kid with endless amounts of enthusiasm and energy–usually quits with 1/2 mile left to go so he can commune with nature. While he rode on my back, he kept saying, “I speak for trees.”

The family that sweats together (and recites The Lorax together), stays together.

Censorship and Other Bad Words

July 7, 2016 | Kate

I recently read an article from Lehigh University’s First Amendment Site regarding book censorship. Written in 2009 by a journalism student, the article chronicles a brief history of censorship and book banning. One quote struck me: “The most effective antidote to the poison of mindless orthodoxy is ready access to a broad sweep of ideas and philosophies. There is no danger from such exposure. The danger is mind control.” That was the 1978 decision of Judge Joseph L. Tauro of Massachusetts in Right to Read Defense Committee v. School Committee of the City of Chelsea.

Thinking about a few amazing works of literature that have been banned over the centuries, including To Kill a Mockingbird (racism), Call of the Wild (banned and burned in Nazi Germany), Ulysses (obscenity), Of Mice and Men (profanity), Fahrenheit 451 (uses God’s name in vain), The Giver (drugs and suicide), The Color Purple (people have sex), and even Dahl’s The Witches (move over J.K. Rowling because Roald Dahl was inspiring wizardry first)…parents, legislators, and school board committee members love to stoke the literacy funeral pyres when students read anything besides censored textbooks or that one book that begins with the line, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

Why is this relevant now? In my county in Virginia, where I live and teach, there is a mother who homeschooled her child. Then she sent that precious snowflake to public school and became very concerned over the county’s suggested summer reading lists for secondary students. Last month, that mother took her complaints to our county’s weekly newspaper, who published her story. In that article, this mother threw words around like “pornographic,” “vile,” and “trash” to describe the books Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell and Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys. Yet has this mother ever read the books herself? No. What concerned me most was her bragging that four titles on the 2015 summer reading list for one county high school were removed after she contacted the school’s administration. Why administrators cave to the whims, rants, and aggressive nature of bulldozer parents is beyond me…it not only undermines teachers, but also feeds into the mind control that Judge Tauro warned against. By allowing one parent to dictate the summer reading list for an entire school of 1500 students, she came back for round two this summer with an even bigger chip on her shoulder. In the case of fundamentalist mother versus administrators without backbone, mother wins.

As if the original story wasn’t infuriating enough, the following week The Chesterfield Observer published a follow-up article that included an interview with our State Senator, Amanda Chase. In the interest of full disclosure, I do not care for Mrs. Chase, nor did I vote for her. I consider myself politically moderate (despite the fact I’m wearing my “Feelin’ the Bern” t-shirt as I write this), but I am wary of politicians aligned with the inflammatory and fear-mongering tea party. Mrs. Chase defeated our previous out-of-touch senator in the primary and there was barely a contest in the Republican stronghold of District 11 in the general election. She won with 64% of the vote. Our Virginia General Assembly notoriously passes what I call “Do-Gooder” laws, and Amanda Chase is one of those do-gooders. A family friend described the problems of our General Assembly this way: there are too many do-gooders and not enough lawyers. However, I am grateful that our Democratic governor, Terry McAuliffe, vetoed two bills in particular while in office so far–one requiring public schools to notify parents before using sexually explicit books in school, and he twice vetoed a “Tebow Bill” that would open public school sports to homeschooled children. So that tangent aside, in the June 29th article, Mrs. Chase calls for firing certain librarians, stating, “If librarians are not recommending books that line up with Chesterfield County Public Schools’ core values, they should be dismissed.” When the Observer presented the idea that parents should help their children pick out books, Chase says parents are too busy.

What. The. [Censored].

Dear fellow parents and Mrs. Chase… I do not claim to be a perfect parent, or even a patient one. I swear in front of my children, and the f-word flows pretty freely in these parts. I listen to SiriusXM’s Backspin in my minivan while shuttling my children around town. I know you mean well, I really do. “Save the children!” It’s a noble thought, but my children and many like them do not need saving. Granted, my kids are young and autism keeps them blissfully innocent and unaware of many of life’s harsh realities, but they know there is profanity and obscenity in this world. Nonetheless, my kids mind their manners, follow directions, and do not hit, bite, or swear. And here is an outrageous idea…I am not too busy to be a parent. I know what they watch on YouTube, I know what book characters they like, and I take time to help them choose books and activities. I even talk to their teachers about their interests and ask for suggestions for books and games. If and when the time comes that I am not comfortable with them reading, hearing, or viewing something, then I will make that call. Please, please stop telling us how to parent. Any middle- or high-school kid wanting to read Eleanor and Park will find that book tamer than what she hears in your average school hallway, bus, or locker room. Bad habits are not curated at the public library. Instead of sheltering kids from controversial things and hiding from reality, we need to teach them how to cope with adversity, make good choices, consider other viewpoints and experiences, and learn from good and bad consequences. If my senator Amanda Chase wants to protect my kids in a meaningful way, she can introduce a bill that will erase the age cap from the autism insurance mandate rather than call for the dismissal of public school librarians who foster curiosity, imagination, and creativity in young adults. To these micromanaging legislators and the parents who seek to impose their will on all of us, don’t you have anything better to do? Maybe you should read a book.

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(Image source: http://quoteaddicts.com)

Dolla, Dolla Bills Y’all

May 4, 2016 | Kate

The word “shopaholic” originated in the 1980’s. That fitting, since I was born in that decade. I admit I often buy stuff I don’t need. My weight fluctuates every year, so I end up buying clothes to accommodate my changing shape. I typically do a closet purge every spring in preparation for our neighborhood yard sale to squabble with people who think $3 for an Ann Taylor blazer is too expensive. I more recently started using two websites to earn money for my old clothes, and I’ve had overall positive experiences with both. If you’re looking to reclaim some closet real estate and earn extra cash, read on.

First up is Poshmark. I saw the app advertised on Facebook. You can download the free app on your iPhone or Android, or create an account on their website. Poshmark created a community where people from all over the country buy and sell clothing and accessories. Poshmark keeps a percentage of your “closet” sales, but they cover shipping costs, offer buyer protection, and cover shipping on returns. Selling on Poshmark takes some time to navigate, including taking pictures of your items, adequately describing them, researching retail cost, and then assigning your sale price. Buyers can make offers instead of buying items for your list price; as a seller, you can counteroffer or ignore any low-ball offers. It took me a couple hours, but I uploaded my maternity clothes, a few purses, and a couple other items I had not worn in a while…and earned $260 so far. You can use that money to purchase items from other Poshmark sellers or transfer it straight to your bank account. Most of the money went to my checking account, but I took advantage of awesome deals on a pair of LuLaRoe leggings and an Anthropologie top.

If you want to try Poshmark, download the smartphone app and sign up with the code JKQLF. You’ll get $10 to spend!

Next up is ThredUp, a online consignment boutique for women, maternity, and kids clothing. You can order a free Clean Out Kit from their website. A few days later, a huge green polka dot bag arrives, and you fill it with your gently used but defect-free clothing. ThredUp covers the shipping cost of this beast package and will closely inspect your clothing upon its arrival. They keep approximately 40% of items they receive. What they do not keep, you can select they return those items (you pay return shipping) or have those clothes donated or recycled. I did not count how many items I sent in my first bag, but ThredUp kept 30 items and paid me $70. Like Poshmark, you can use that money to shop from ThredUp, or have the money transferred to a PayPal account.

Give ThredUp a try by creating an account here, and get $10 to spend. There are detailed videos and information about selling to their organization there, too.

Guess who is not yard-selling this year? This gal.

Life Lately

April 16, 2016 | Kate

After an insanely busy winter, I am back on the blog wagon… I suppose it’s time for a catch up.

Thing 2 continued his journey down the neurology rabbit hole. Last fall, we sought a second opinion on suspected absence seizures, and proceeded with an EEG, head MRI (revealing a Chiari malformation restricting the flow of cerebral spinal fluid), then a follow-up MRI on his spine to evaluate for any tears or syrinx. The spinal MRI was clear, and the neurosurgeon suggested repeating the scans yearly. Our coinsurance for the spinal MRI was $2,200, so I doubt yearly repeats are financially feasible, unless by some miracle Thing 2 qualifies for Medicaid. So far our county Department of Social Services has refused to screen Thing 2 for waiver services. Outright refused, which I am pretty sure is illegal. Typical Virginia. Meanwhile, Thing 2 has been pushing on his cheeks and acting like his face is in pain. Our pediatrician noticed his 6-year molars (the first permanent molars we get) were erupting. We gave him Advil, and that seemed to help. At the dentist last week, Thing 2 was amazingly cooperative, and it must have been divine intervention. Our dentist found an abscess in a baby molar, which must be horribly painful. That is why he’s pushing on his cheek, and that tooth will be pulled next week. This is the point I find myself frustrated and furious with autism and the lack of communication that goes with it. Thing 2 was unable to tell us he was in pain, and that is not acceptable. And unfair. Hopefully his mood will improve once that tooth is pulled, because no one in this family is allowed to take a knee! This month Thing 2 also returns to the neurologist and gets registered for Kindergarten.

Thing 1, on the other hand, is doing incredibly well–in school and ABA sessions. Thing 1 is in second grade, and by Christmas mastered Kindergarten and first grade sight words. His behavior therapist is working on generalizing that skill, meaning recognizing and reading those sight words in formats other than a flashcard. I left my school laptop at home one morning and came home during my planning block to pick it up. I walked in on an ABA session, and Thing 1 was reading. READING. I didn’t want to leave. Besides going into a general education second grade classroom for literacy circles, starting in January he was included in general education math, too. I love it when the stars finally align and Thing 1 makes such huge strides… Sometimes it is difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but hard work always pays off. Thing 1 has been working his butt off.

Thing 3 is mere days away from his second birthday. He was completely delightful and easygoing until he hit 18 months. That’s when he decided to jump start the Terrible Two’s. The kid is so stubborn! He wants to do everything himself, his way, on his own time. He is also not saying a single word, and every time he stands on his toes or walks in some repetitive pattern around the room, I feel a lump my stomach. I had to make the call yet again and ask for an autism evaluation, which will be another two months away. On that note, I am donating our brains to science. We have not seen a geneticist since Thing 1 was diagnosed in 2010, but there must be something behind the way our genes are mixing and mingling to produce potentially three kids on the spectrum. Hopefully by joining the Autism BrainNet, our noggins can help solve the mystery for other families. Besides, it’s not like any of us will need our brains when we’re six feet under.

I’m almost halfway done with the national board certification process. I submitted Component 2–a portfolio showcasing how I teach writing and differentiate instruction. I had to analyze three writing assignments for that component, and it made me grateful to not be a Language Arts teacher. Oy…the writing! I take a test (multiple-choice and short answer) in June, and then I’ll pick up the process again this fall with two more components to submit. I’m also ready to kick this group of seventh graders to the curb. Despite the lethal mix of laziness, immaturity, and psycho parents this year, I still love my job most days…until Pi Day comes around, and I take one in the face.

It’s all for a good cause.

The house is in shambles since my husband demolished our master bathroom. It will look amazing when finished, but in the meantime, there’s a bathtub and two toilets hanging out in the garage, sawdust scattered, and a shop-vac by my bedside.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, right?

Thanks, but No Thanks

January 25, 2016 | Kate

Richmond Family Magazine is a free, local publication that’s been in existence since 2009. I browsed the magazine a few times, but I am not a devoted reader because of it’s lack of substance. It’s chock full of more advertisements than articles. The managing editor of RFM is Karen Schwartzkopf, and this week she put Virginia teachers in her crosshairs.

Beginning Friday, it started snowing in Central Virginia. By 10:00 p.m. on Saturday night, we had 12-15 inches in Richmond and the surrounding counties. School was cancelled Friday, Monday, and Tuesday…so far. Like my students, I get giddy over snow days. Mrs. Schwartzkopf, however, does not approve of that sentiment and let Twitter know about it.

(Image source: Mouthy Mother)

“Thanks, but no thanks,” is the only acceptable and family-friendly response I can think of for her #sorrynotsorry lameness.

Mrs. Schwartzkopf, I am not rooting to avoid my students. Snow days create more work for teachers when we have to revise our lesson plans and, undoubtedly, cut certain activities because we are expected to adhere to guidelines for pacing and testing. There will be field trips, conferences, and meetings to reschedule, as well as children to refocus. I find your attitude faulting teachers for the weather misplaced and immature. I root for snow days because I can be productive (I emailed parents, responded to students’ questions via Edmodo, and graded work today) while spending extra time with my own children. Slowing down our morning hustle and bustle on occasion is a nice and welcome change.

Here is what I really do not understand…

Why is it acceptable to openly disrespect and mock teachers in 2016? Over a snow day. When did the profession become worthy of such snark and silliness? Why are public servants, including police officers and teachers, the villains these days? I have taught middle school since 2007, and every year there are those few little darlings that make me question my chosen profession. But I realize that a child’s poor attitude and behavior towards teachers and classmates are likely learned from the adults in his or her life. Children need a model for respectful behavior, and some parents fail to meet this bill. On the other hand, middle-schoolers are impulsive, emotional animals. You deal with it and move on. As teachers, we strive every day to foster positive relationships with students and parents, hold our students accountable, give children a sounding board, make the classroom fun, encourage analytical thinking, and spend our own money on classroom supplies to that effect–all while collecting endless amounts of data, completing forms, checking off boxes, and spending hours upon hours in professional development, parent conferences, and meetings. Our good intentions and best practices never seem to be enough, and we are under constant scrutiny. Gregory Michie wrote in The Washington Post, “We’ve created a climate where good, hard-working educators feel justifiably discouraged and unjustly maligned.” That’s a big reason why morale is low among teachers across this country. The concepts of teachers becoming targets and our country’s CULTURE of disrespect is further opined by The Chicago Tribune, NoBullying.com, and The Wall Street Journal.

The fact that Mrs. Schwartzkopf, a work-from-home mother, saw her teacher friends celebrating a snow day apparently sent her over the edge. Perhaps she’s waging the psychological mommy wars, one of those parents who project her own sanctimony and/or shortcomings on other parents. Maybe she views school as daycare and teachers as babysitters. Whatever her motive, I’ll say it again: Our good intentions and best practices are never enough.

Screen Shot 2016-01-25 at 10.11.15 PM (Image source: Mouthy Mother)

I found Mrs. Schwartzkopf’s apologies insincere. Since those apologies, she deleted her Twitter account. It’s unfortunate she felt the need to hide. Mrs. Schwartzkopf, as a teacher, please allow me to share why I welcome a couple days “off” and the goals I’m working on this week. Consider it a “teachable moment.”

Work on my NBC entry: This 12-page narrative to accompany my submission for National Board Certification is kicking my butt. I haven’t written a paper like this since college, but it’s nothing like college writing. By the time I achieve certification, I will spend $1,025 of my own money and give up several Saturdays attending workshops and coaching sessions. I don’t want to sound like a martyr because I realized the work, time, and money commitments when I signed up; but I do want to point out how ridiculous you, Mrs. Schwartzkopf, sound when you mock people who also work from home in the evenings, weekends, summer, and blizzards.
Paperwork: I am up for recertification and my triennial summative review this year. I brought home my binder to organize the forms, certificates, emails, and lesson plans I collect to demonstrate I can do my job.
Get at least four Weight Watchers FitPoints every day: I’ve done this by walking the dog with my oldest son, and sledding and playing outside with my younger two.
Meal plan and prep: I usually do this every other weekend, but this Saturday I’ll be attending one of those NBC coaching sessions referenced above.
Clean bathrooms: I live with three little boys and a husband…enough said. This is low on the totem pole and the reason we buy Clorox wipes in bulk.

Today, my three boys and I piled onto the couch after breakfast and watched The Lorax. Things 1 and 2 took turns reciting all the lines. Thing 3 was just happy to be invited to the couch party. It was a wonderful moment, and one I will not apologize for wanting more of. I’ve never met Mrs. Schwartzkopf, and I certainly do not want to judge a person based on one poor comment. People have bad days, but when you use your status to promote poorly-placed snark and disrespect among your readers and followers, you lack integrity and common sense. Perhaps you should spend a week as a substitute teacher and see what it’s like in the trenches. How quickly will you be hoping for a snow day? I’ll offer the same advice I offer my 7th graders…Slow down, check your work, and think before you speak.

To read more about this debate and another perspective, check out Mouthy Mother’s blog post here.

And no matter what Mrs. Schwartzkopf says, my boys are loving our snow days. They also love their teachers, who I hope are enjoying some well-deserved time to explore the world outside the classroom.

Sayonara, 2015

December 31, 2015 | Kate

As 2015 and winter break come to a close, I am grateful for the past two weeks off work. Seventh graders were driving me bat-shit crazy, and I spent the week leading up to break telling them, “It’s not you. It’s me. We should see other people. We need a break.” My husband usually has more time off between Christmas and New Year’s, but not this year. We were still able to enjoy family staycation time. We made at least three trips to the mall for last-minute Christmas shopping, and the boys took in all the lights, reindeer, puddle jumping, and train rides their little brains could handle.

Short_Pump_Christmas

Thing 1 has gotten much better about responding to questions with “yes” or “no” appropriately this fall. His behavior therapist hit that hard in their ABA sessions. When the Short Pump Express chuffed by, Thing 1 erupted into words asking and answering his own questions: “Go train? Yes! Train? Yes!” We rode–twice. Those little victories are amazing to witness, when you can see his eyes light up, everything click, and break through those communication barriers.

The husband and I managed a couple day dates thanks to the grandparents babysitting. On Christmas Eve, we drove to Veritas Winery to pick up my wine club bottles and a bottle of bubbly Scintilla for New Year’s toasting. I love Veritas wines, especially the Viognier and Merlot. I also love that the Veritas management allows people to bring outside food to the winery and picnic on the grounds. That’s what the husband and I did. We brought crackers, sausage, cheese, and enjoyed a glass of Scintilla on the veranda. We hit Blue Mountain Brewery afterwards for a tasting flight, and worked off that pretzel and beer by walking around my college alma mater.

Christmas Day was not about fanfare. My kids do not like to open presents, they do not show excitement over Santa, and they definitely do not want to eat what’s served for Christmas dinner. Thing 3 was the first kid awake and thought all presents were for him. Santa brought him a shopping cart filled with fake fruits and veggies, which he’s pushed around the house nonstop for the past week. Thing 2 got launchers for his Thomas trains that make the trains race. And Thing 1 got an I.O.U. Lame, but the Target gift card we ordered using our Chase rewards to buy him an iPod never arrived. Santa’s gift is still in the mail, but Thing 1 did not seem to notice or mind. He instead showed Thing 2 how to work the train launcher.

December has been unusually wet and mild in Virginia. We’ve had soggy days and temperatures in the 70’s. When it wasn’t raining, I took the boys to the playground, and we took the grandparents to the zoo one afternoon. These boys needs lots of fresh air and space to run.

Playground

As last year ended, we felt tired and frustrated. We hated Thing 1’s school and the administration, Thing 2 was on a downward spiral of not sleeping and outrageously erratic behavior, and we had an infant. In the words of Jim Gaffigan, “Imagine you’re drowning. And someone hands you a baby.” We are still tired, but the year improved. Thing 1 had a great year with less meltdowns, more communication, and he is truly a delightful kid. Thing 2 is not sleeping, but we’re on the road to answers. Thing 3 is moving into terrible-two’s territory. They are all happy. We wish our friends and family the same health and happiness in 2016.