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Milestones!

We recently celebrated Thing 3’s FIRST birthday!  Little kids and birthday parties are so much fun, although Thing 3 was slightly overwhelmed by all the attention.  He arrived like a freight train eight days before his due date.  About two weeks before, he wriggled into a frank breech position.  After researching the version procedure proposed by my doctor, I opted for a c-section and got on the hospital’s schedule.  The weekend before, Thing 3 decided he did not want to wait for that appointment.  We arrived at the hospital just in time.  Within 30 minutes of getting to the hospital, I was already 7 centimeters dilated and prepped for surgery.

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Thing 3 is the big 1!We had a low-key party with family and a few friends.  We grilled burgers and hot dogs and inhaled cupcakes.  Thing 3 played hard, but kept his stone-cold-sober party face on.  He did not want to crack a smile, but he loved his cupcake and playing with his cousin.

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This baby is such a good boy!  He loves to play peek-a-boo and patty cake.  He blows kisses and greets everyone by waving when they come through the door.  He turns every small toy into a phone, holds it up to the back of his head, and asks, “Hiya?”  He gives these ridiculous open-mouth slobbery kisses.  He is becoming more opinionated and independent (and antagonistic towards his big brothers).  He is speed-demon crawler and champion cruiser…but has not started walking alone quite yet.  He looks so adorable when he cuddles with his favorite blanket.  He points at Cheerios and Goldfish when he wants his favorite snacks, although he loves all food.  He wakes up happy almost every morning and laughs at his Daddy’s funny faces.

Happy birthday, Thing 3!

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Classroom Bracketology

In the same breath that I complained about snow days disrupting my World War II unit, I ditched my just-finish-the-damn-SOL plans to bring some bracketology to seventh grade.  I was inspired by “Teach with Tournaments,” which I saw in my Pinterest feed a few times, and March Madness.  I’m writing this blog post while watching Wisconsin take on Duke… Come on, Badgers!  Definitely check out Josh Hoekstra’s website and video clip.  This guy makes money telling teachers how to complete brackets.  Seriously.  Either he is a genius, or we’re that stupid.

Anyway…

I did some research on unsung heroes of World War II, trying to find names I (and my students) never heard before.  I found heroes from various walks of life, including soldiers, spies, pilots, Americans, Soviets, Brits, and those who publicly opposed the Nazi party in Nazi-controlled lands.  Names on our brackets included the big guns like Churchill, FDR, Eisenhower, Patton, Schindler, Von Stauffenberg, and Zaytsev; as well as lesser-known players like Mildred Manning (Army nurse/POW), Noor Inayat Khan (spy), Maximilian Kolbe and Chiune Sugihara (both tried to save Jews from concentration camps), and many others.

I pre-filled brackets for each class and printed names on strips of paper.  Each student drew a name.  They had 25 minutes to research that person and find out what he/she did during WWII that was heroic, then create a 60-second pitch to win over their classmates (and, more importantly, me) to advance to the next round.  It was interesting to see a student draw a name and look completely disappointed with their assignment.  Maybe he couldn’t pronounce the name on the sheet, or she didn’t want to speak in front of the class, but every kid fired up a Chromebook and feverishly wrote down facts.  Good facts, too.

The debates were fun.  Many kids spoke in first person, starting with “I am the greatest hero because…”  I put 60 seconds on the timer–kids dubbed it the “shot clock.”  When less-popular names advanced past the big guns, they were bracket-busters.  The phrase, “He’s a real bad astronaut,” was spoken multiple times as students advocated their advance.  Get it?  Get it?  They’re so clever.  One kid compared his soldier to Chuck Norris.  “He could just pick up a handful of bullets, throw them at the Japanese, and kill hundreds of enemy soldiers.”  A little Chuck Norris meets Hot Shots Part Deux…I was very entertained.

It took an entire block to get through the research phase and first round.  We finished the second/third rounds after reviewing for the test.  The championship round was done after the test.  They were epic.  The kids were so into the debates, and in the end, realized it was a tough decision because every person on the bracket did something extraordinary.  There was cheering, gasps, upsets, and tough losses.  Those lessons go beyond March Madness.

And now Wisconsin is up 31-29.  One half and one minutes to go…

Brackets

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Udder Nonsense

WARNING: This post talks about boobs.  Divert your eyes if that makes you queasy.

Milk MeLast night I thawed the last three bags of frozen breastmilk for bottles and packed away my breast pump.  I was kind of surprised at the emotions that came with putting that pump away.  On one hand, I was happy to give the pump the official F-OFF because I seriously hate that machine.  What do I hate most?  Pumping at work while trying to reply to e-mails, grade papers, and attend meetings and conferences; the noise of the machine; cleaning flanges and valves; the expense of special freezer bags; people interrupting me.  And by interrupt, I mean unlocking my door and walking in as if they are invited to the party.

That happened to me twice–by custodial staff and a parent volunteer.  Yep, someone gave a parent a master key in the front office, and she let herself into my classroom.  Never mind the safety concerns there or the sign on the door that clearly said, “DO NOT DISTURB.”  But I digress…

On the other hand, it means Thing 3 is one more step away from babyhood, and that makes me sad.  At 11-months old, he has 10 teeth, including two molars, and I followed his cues to wean.  He’s my last baby (okay, maybe I’m still in denial about that), and we’ll never have those special moments again.  Waaahhhh…

Thing 3In honor of the occasion, I offer this poem to honor the hard work of those mammary glands and my pump.

Boobs being macerated by tiny teeth.

Relax and just let it flow.

Engorged?  Not anymore!

Adding to my

Supply

To keep my baby full.  Meanwhile,

Pulling and pinching my

Udders, I try to ignore.  Now

My lactation has come to a close, and that means it’s time for more

Pinot.

Lame and dorky, I know.

As a side note–I discovered Latched Mama nursing apparel with this kiddo.  Her hoodies are amazing, and she’s a local RVA designer. Check her out!

We will be celebrating Thing 3’s first birthday in less than four weeks!  I cannot believe how fast the year has passed, and he is turning into such a playful, opinionated little boy.

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“Feed me now!” he says.

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WWII Meets Twitter

I teach seventh-grade U.S. history, and World War II is one unit students look forward to all year.  Because of snow days, I had to revise the unit, including cutting a project on FDR’s “Four Freedoms” speech and shortening a couple classwork activities.  On one snow day, I brainstormed ideas on how to get my kids to interact with battles chronologically, while also understanding the meat of those events.

Hello, Twitter.

So I came up with this activity…Imagine Twitter existed during World War II.  I put instructions together on the fly, but it was a good start:

Imagine you are a journalist reporting during the 1930s and 1940s. Unlike those old-school reporters, you have access to Twitter. Report live from the battlefields in 140 characters or less to keep Americans informed on this war!  Choose any 8 of the following events to cover.

  • Blitzkrieg of Denmark, Norway, Belgium, Netherlands, and France
  • Battle of Britain
  • Bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
  • D-Day
  • Italian Invasion of Ethiopia
  • Japanese Invasion of Manchuria
  • Lend-Lease Act Signed
  • Battle of Midway
  • Pearl Harbor Attacked
  • Battle of Stalingrad

Put your events in chronological order and write a tweet for each one using the textbook, Internet, and primary source readers to gather information. Tweets are 140 characters max, including hashtags, and should provide meaningful information and a date. (Example: Don’t forget to study vocabulary for your SS quiz. #myteacherisawesome)

Students could use World War II and Winston Churchill primary readers from Teacher Created Materials, our textbook, and the Internet to find information for their tweets.

I picked the top 4-5 out of each class and put them on little cards to decorate the bulletin board.

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WWII Twitter

WWII Twitter

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Judging Fish

This post was originally written for Autism Speaks, which you can see on their website here.

The autism world is filled with acronyms, metaphors, and symbols. ABA, IFSP, IEP, SIB, puzzle pieces, umbrellas, and this insight from Mr. Einstein to name a few: “Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

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Preach, Albert.  Want to know what I REALLY think our symbols should be?

Blood, sweat, and tears.

My kids are learning how to function in a world that’s not exactly made to fit their senses or sensibilities.  Achieving acceptance is about having access to services and opportunities they need to effect that learning.  That said, I’ve been reflecting on how doors opened for us and appreciating the hard work of strangers that went into it.

Thing 1 was diagnosed with autism in 2010.  A few months after diagnosis day, we were quietly asked to leave the preschool he attended.  I will never forget the director’s words.  “He’s not potty trained, so he can’t graduate to the next classroom.  I don’t think your son is getting anything out of our program anyway.”  Once we figured out the lay of the land, what we really wanted for our son–a specialized day program for children with autism and intensive behavioral support–was financially unattainable in the state of Virginia.  This was our reality: Thing 1 was not speaking, meltdowns were daily, and by the time he turned five, the only educational option offered was a self-contained kindergarten class.

That was a low point.  Autism was kicking butt and holding my son hostage.

What I did not realize was strangers were shedding blood, sweat, and tears FOR YEARS to make services accessible to all Virginians.  I imagine these guys marching into the General Assembly year after year like Wyatt Earp in Tombstone, never giving up… “You tell them I’m coming, and hell’s coming with me.”

Seriously, who does not love that movie?

To call Virginia’s autism insurance mandate a game changer (recently expanded to cover children through age 10) is an understatement for our family.  It was by no means a free ride, but at least we had a fighting chance.  Thanks to intensive ABA, Thing 1 grew by leaps and bounds and started using words.  BEAUTIFUL WORDS like mommy, daddy, milk, potty, applesauce, no…a whole lot of “no.”  That’s definitely his favorite word.  He writes letters, recognizes sight words, and he can recite any Thomas episode like a champ.

Thing 1 to school

Thing 2, now 4 1/2 years old, was diagnosed with autism last year and also benefits from ABA.  He has friends in an inclusion classroom, he’s an awesome swimmer, and he knows all the Llama Llama books by heart.  This is our reality now: We have healthy, happy boys.  When they have bad days, we have a toolbox of communication and coping strategies to break through the frustration.  It’s like instead of treading water, we have a life preserver.  None of that would be possible without strangers (now friends) fighting for us–pounding the General Assembly and advocating for kids like mine.

Thing 2 snack

I’m looking at April and Autism Awareness Month with more hope than ever because I am excited to see Governor McAuliffe sign autism insurance expansion into law, I am inspired by my boys’ budding personalities, and I am resolved to continue to fight for them.  Tonight we went to Home Depot and bought our blue lightbulbs–for these little lights of mine.

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SmartMom Review

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While scrolling through Facebook, SmartMom keeps showing up as a recommended page.  Maybe you’ve seen it, too.  It shows a picture of a toddler playing in a giant inflatable swimming pool in some family’s palatial living room with the tag line, “Our moms have great ideas.”

Okay, whatever.

I installed the SmartMom app (which is free) without reading the reviews.  Mistake.  The entire app is just a message wall with moms posting various questions.  And by various, I mean different moms post the same five questions over and over again.

  • When can I give my baby solids?  Wait, you mean I can’t give my 8-week old cereal?  Why?  She’s big for her age and obviously has an advanced stomach.
  • I had my baby two weeks ago.  Why haven’t I lost 30 pounds yet?
  • My baby is drooling and gnawing on things and fussy.  What is this phenomenon?
  • My child has a cough/runny nose.  We’re going to the emergency room.  What should I expect?  I think it’s bubonic plague.
  • My husband refuses to change diapers, do laundry, cook dinner, or hold our baby.  All he does is play video games.  Is this normal?

As you answer these questions on SmartMom, you accrue points.  These points help you win their monthly giveaways.  Honestly, I lasted about 10 days on this app before I deleted it.  A free B.O.B. stroller just wasn’t worth it.

I get it, though.  Even though I may not be a first-time mom anymore, we are still discovering new firsts in our children’s development and have questions.  However, this app is seriously ridiculous and showed me nothing…besides the world has absolutely no common sense, and apparently no one uses a regular pediatrician anymore.  Instead of the inflatable swimming pool, SmartMom creators should consider this little guy’s wise words:

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Good Morning America!

Because of our support of HB1940, we developed a relationship with Autism Speaks.  The organization published my blog post (My Day at the GA) on their website, and our names were passed along to ABC News as they started working on a piece for Autism Speaks’ 10th birthday.  As I responded to the hey-can-you-do-an-interview e-mail from Autism Speaks, I thought for sure it was not going to happen…but it’s nice to be considered.  Seriously, my family is not that interesting.

A couple days later I got an e-mail from an ABC producer.  “WTF have I gotten us into?” was all that went through my mind.

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Twenty-four hours later, our house was spick and span, and the next day a field crew descended on our home.  Thing 1 flipped out when they first arrived, but he calmed down while my husband and I sat for our interview.  We were asked questions about how we met, how long we’ve been married, when did we know our children had autism, how “devastated” were we when Thing 2 was diagnosed, what is applied behavioral analysis, why does it cost so much, what has ABA done for our boys, why should Virginians support an expansion of the autism insurance mandate, and so on.  We answered questions for about an hour, and I had butterflies fluttering in my stomach the entire time.  We explained that ABA has been a game-changer for our family and gave Thing 1 a voice.  It’s expensive because highly specialized one-on-one therapy usually is, and you pay for what you get.  It’s important that Virginians support HB1940 because when it comes to the care of persons with autism, you either pay now or later.  We prefer to invest in our boys now so they can learn how to make friends, survive school, and one day live as independently as possible.  We also pointed out that having an age cap tied to autism insurance benefits is discriminatory.

The producer using the term “devastated” to describe going through the diagnosis process twice bothered me.  Autism is not a death sentence, and while I certainly don’t want to see my children struggle to communicate, make friends, and gain acceptance, I get to tuck them in, read them stories, and smother them with kisses every day.  That is a luxury, not a devastation.

The field producer does a lot of work for NPR and also published a short article with our interview here.

Once our interview was done, the boys came downstairs and were followed around by the camera and sound guys for two hours.  They shot video of the boys playing games and trains, eating a snack, swinging outside, and reading a book.

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It was a very long day.

One week went by, then another.  We weren’t sure if the footage was chopped, if it was being saved for Autism Awareness Month, or if this story was going to air at all.

February 25 is the 10-year anniversary of the founding of Autism Speaks, and Good Morning America celebrated the date with an interview with Bob and Suzanne Wright, their daughter and grandson, and US for your viewing pleasure at 1:30 into the segment.

Don’t blink, though, or you’ll miss it.  Some people get fifteen minutes of fame.  I’m happy with our 10 seconds.

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Measles is the New Ebola

Once again, we have media-generated hysteria over a viral outbreak.  Someone cue Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s tears.

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There is no debating that vaccines save lives.  The Department of Health and Human Services tells us that we can protect our children from more diseases than ever before; vaccines are subjected to long, careful reviews by scientists, doctors, and healthcare professionals; immunizations protect the people you love most; those vaccines save families time and money because non-vaccinated children can be denied attendance at schools and daycare; and immunization protects future generations, evidenced by the eradication of smallpox.  All positive things.

Having two children on the spectrum, I heard, like everyone else, the vaccines-cause-autism claim.  Obviously, I did not buy into this link because my older boys got all immunizations in accordance with the CDC’s schedule, and the original study has been debunked over and over again.

When I was pregnant with Thing 3, I started wondering about what I could do differently.  I have no idea what causes autism–nor does anyone else on this planet apparently–but what could I possibly do differently during pregnancy and his infancy to abate the risk?  The answer may be absolutely nothing.  My husband and I started thinking about the timeline of Thing 1’s progression and regression.  He hit his milestones through 14-15 months until we had a series of small events: MMR shot at 15-months old, anesthesia and ear tubes at 16-months, and strep throat around 20-months.  Could it have been a combination of those environmental factors that caused a regression of all language and self-help skills?

But what does that matter if Thing 2 did not have those issues but also has autism?  Is autism inevitable?

Kind of a tangent, but I started researching PANDAS, which stands for Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcus. Kids with PANDAS or PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) show OCD behaviors, moodiness, anxiety, and other autism-like symptoms.  The theory is that an infection–whether strep, Lyme, flu, or another bug–led to antibodies that mistakenly attack the part of the brain that controls behavior, and doctors are only starting to study this phenomenon.  I could not find enough information blaming PANS for language regression, so investigating a PANS diagnosis for my kids is probably not appropriate…but it led me to a bigger question wondering if something weird was happening with the boys’ immune systems.

So that goes back to the vaccine issue.  I am not a hipster, not anti-authority.  While the benefits of vaccination outweigh the likelihood of an adverse reaction, it is my responsibility as a parent to know what is injected into my children and how it was made.  I learned that vaccines are not an all-or-nothing argument, and those who question the preservatives in the MMR shot or opt for a different vaccine schedule do not deserve such ridiculous vilification on social media.

I do want my children protected from diseases like polio and measles.  Through long, sometimes tedious hours of research and investigating the vaccines myself (does anyone bother to request and actually read the informational inserts that come with those shots?), I settled on a modified version of Dr. Sears’ staggered vaccine schedule for Thing 3.  His Vaccine Book is enlightening and not anti-vaccine.  He offers numerous articles on safe vaccination here.  I am now a Dr. Sears groupie.

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Here is the immunization schedule we settled on for Thing 3, with the blessing of our pediatrician.  I’m grateful she respected our wishes and was open to having a discussion with me about the pros and cons of each shot.

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If you are unsure or have questions about vaccines, I encourage you to do some research, talk to your pediatrician, check out The Vaccine Book, read the information included with those vaccines–just like you hopefully read the warnings and information that come with any medication.  And please use a little common sense instead of blindly following the TV’s talking heads.

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Miles to Go Before I Sleep

This week I feel like we are trudging through thick snow, making little progress.  Never mind it’s sunny and a mild February.

The General Assembly session is winding down, and our much anticipated bills to expand autism insurance coverage in Virginia are still sitting in committee.  Media outlets across the state are now starting to pay attention to HB1940 and SB1457, and yesterday the story appeared in Hampton Roads here.  The Senate was supposed to hear the bill on Monday, but SB1457 was pulled off the docket and postponed.

Patience may be a virtue, but I am not feeling virtuous anymore.  Thing 1 cannot wait another year for this debate.

Last night I reached out to a few well-connected friends…because it’s not what you know; it’s who you know.  A couple awesome ladies put me in touch with two news reporters.  After e-mails, text messages, and a phone call this morning, I think NBC12 will be at the House Commerce & Labor meeting tomorrow, where HB1940 will hopefully be up for a vote.  And the reporter wants to interview us.  Aye aye aye.

In the meantime, I turned on The Story of Us (thank you, History Channel) for my students today and hit the e-mails hard.  Here’s my letter to every single member of the Senate Commerce & Labor Committee:

Dear Sirs and Madam:
I am writing members of the Commerce & Labor Committee, urging you to end the age cap on Virginia’s mandated insurance coverage of autism spectrum disorders.  I live in Midlothian, and I have three sons, ages 7, 4, and 9 months.  My oldest sons both have autism.  SB1457 will reach your committee meeting soon and impacts thousands of Virginia families.  Those families are sick and tired of begging the Commonwealth for scraps.  Today it is more difficult for families like mine to secure EDCD waiver services or a spot on the ID/DD wait list.  The Individual Family and Support Program funds are a joke, and this January only 600 requests were granted out of 3300 applications.  Because of our denial, my oldest son will not receive occupational therapy this year because we cannot afford to pay out of pocket for the service.
If my children were diagnosed with diabetes or multiple sclerosis and our private insurance refused to cover their medically-necessary treatment after age 6, people would be horrified and outraged.  Why is there not the same demand to protect children with autism?  Contrary to what the current law implies, autism does not go away when a child turns 7, or 10, or 21.
Applied Behavior Analysis is the most common evidence-based therapy for children with autism.  Both my boys receive ABA, and it is because of this therapy that my nonverbal oldest son learned how to feed himself, potty train, make eye contact and greet people, answer to his name, gain academic skills necessary to transition to public school… I could go on and on.  ABA saved us.  He turned 7 last summer and aged out of required insurance coverage.  We now rely on Medicaid to pay for M’s 6 hours of weekly ABA therapy.  My husband and I–both college graduates, employed full-time, with a household income over $100,000–rely on M’s Medicaid to pay for what private insurance should be required to cover.  The current system forces regular able-bodied middle-class families to rely on the Commonwealth for financial assistance, and it is within your power to change that.
ABA is expensive, but the actual impact on insurance premiums in minimal.  The State Corporation Commission reported that coverage of autism spectrum disorders led to a $2.66 per year per member increase in premiums in 2013.  In states that have no age cap, premiums raised on average less than $0.50 per month per member.  The cost of a couple Starbucks lattes will save families and the state between $1-2 MILLION over an autistic person’s lifetime.  The resources available to Virginia families to afford meaningful and medically-necessary therapy for children with autism is extremely limited, and the absence of insurance coverage forces many families to pay out of pocket, anywhere between $25,000-$50,000 for services.
Please vote YES for SB1457.  Thanks so much for your time.
I sent the same message to members of the House C&L Committee.  Find your delegate’s and senator’s names, and make a call or send an e-mail on behalf of my family and every Virginian with autism right now!
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Good Day Sunshine!

Sometimes (okay…almost always) holidays and school breaks give me a nervous twitch. They throw off my kiddo’s routines, and we’re constantly looking for a cheap way to entertain and exhaust our big boys. When the weather is chilly and skies dreary, Thing 1 and Thing 2 tend to plug into their iPads or destroy the house.  Usually it’s a mix of both.  Thank goodness for sunshine and temperatures thawing on Monday. Nana and I packed up the kids and had a great day at Maymont!

We started at the Nature Center, then visited the wildlife exhibits.  The boys are always fascinated with the bridges, tiny waterfalls, and animals.  In the spring and summer, we like to play in the gardens.

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The boys also tested the laws of gravity.  What goes up…

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…must come down.

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Monkey see, monkey do.

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Mission accomplished.  That is one seriously tired middle child.

2015/01/img_0986.jpgBut not too tired for a pitstop at Carytown Cupcakes on our way home.  We LOVE this place!  I shared a couple bites of my carrot cupcake with the baby.  Judging by that sweet face, I think he approves.

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2015/01/img_0990.jpgThe day made me think of the Beatles song… I need to laugh, and when the sun is out I’ve got something I can laugh about.  I feel good, in a special way.  I’m in love and it’s a sunny day.